First Person: Using PTSD as a Motivation to Live

The fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) will be released in May. Yahoo is featuring first-person stories from Americans who are diagnosed with some of the most common mental health disorders in the United States. Here's one story.

FIRST PERSON | In the fall of 2008 I was 24, struggling with my duties as a Navy sailor, had an ugly breakup with my girlfriend, and my thoughts were dark and often turned to suicide. Unsure of what to do, I eventually made two separate appointments with two psychologists and both diagnosed me with PTSD.

My condition was considered severe and unusual because it wasn't caused by the close calls on my life during my second Iraq deployment, which ended six months before my diagnosis, but due to the vast knowledge of carnage I was exposed to as a combat historian documenting the conflict.

The path to recovery has been long, brutal and, to this day, still on-going. I spent months secretly going to weekly therapy in the hopes that I would eventually become the person I once was.

Now, I'm 28, two years out of the Navy and work as a newspaper journalist in Ontario, Ore. My life is happy and fulfilling, yet I never did realize my goal of being the person I was before Iraq and know I never will.

However, that's not meant to be disheartening, because I'm actually happier now than I've ever been. The PTSD peaks its ugly head through the shadows of my mind from time to time, and there are moments when that frustrates me greatly, but I now have the tools to cope with these problems, have a better understanding of my emotions than any other time in my life and, most importantly, I use the PTSD as motivation to live.

I truly believe that if it wasn't for the six-month period after my diagnosis, a time I refer to as "the dark months," I would not have the life I do now. It eliminated many fears I had before, enabled me to talk to people more openly, instilled in me a desire to accomplish my life's goals and gave me the yearning to write.

PTSD does come with stigmas attached to it, but I believe those are slowly dissolving. More individuals are speaking out about their experiences, which needs to continue, but few I encounter understand what PTSD is, nor how it affects the lives of those diagnosed.

If there's one message I'd like PTSD sufferers to know, it's that life can not only go on after a diagnosis, but, through hard work and determination, it can even be better.

For those who are close to individuals suffering from this ailment, research and understand. For me, a self-determination to get better was a huge factor in my recovery, but I would have been lost and incapable of that without the support of the few understanding loved ones I told.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/first-person-using-ptsd-motivation-live-223800065.html

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